It feels like someone swallowed my heart, now it’s completely gone.
It feels like someone took everything I had to offer this world and threw it into the sea.
It feels like my words have no meaning and even when I try to look up at the stars I find myself looking back down on the sidewalk because I don’t want to see anything beautiful anymore.
It feels like a never ending cycle of pain that I’ve handed myself over to. I’ve given myself to the bad place.
I sit in the library, in a cubicle minding my own business and thereafter I’m facedown screaming silently into the inside of my arm.
I know I’m crying and it hurts so bad. It hurts to cry alone in between all these people.
I fear I have told my story to someone who never even wanted to hear it, let alone understand it.
I fear I have lost my heart. My mind is caught in a state of nonexistence.
A young woman, so hard on herself, yet somehow not hard enough. What a line.
I get up unable to continue to sit there holding my breath to keep quiet.
I walk. I walk so fast I can feel myself starting to jog. Honestly I just want to run in the midst of these people screaming HELP ME HELP ME SOMEONE HELP HELP WHY DOES IT HURT THIS BAD. But I just walk fast and keep my head down under my hat.
I walk up the stairs. My keys drop from my hands as I try to open the front door. Once I go inside, I’ll be stuck there alone.
I run to my room, falling into my bed. I scream into my pillow, And I remember not everyone feels things as deeply as I do.
I feel so alone,,,,,
but I know I am not.
But I am still alive.
i am living proof that pain is just pain and we are all subjected to it forever until we die.
all we can do is feel it
I am still writing.
I am still here and I hear the music loudly.
I can hear my heart loud and clear. I’m still here.